Wonder Yak

BECAUSE I CAN!

2006-03-20T18:06:00.000-08:00

My blog is now being hosted by...drum roll, please...me!

After changing servers, I discovered that in addition to unlimited domain hosting, I also had Word Press pre-installed. So, there you go.

Please update your bookmarks (yes, all four of you) to http://www.wonderyak.com

Cats are Funny

2006-03-15T21:08:00.000-08:00

This is funny. I'm not sure why, exactly...but, damn. It makes me giggle.

It's Funny 'cause It's Old

2006-03-09T21:58:00.000-08:00

http://marriedtothesea.com/

Voice, or Instrument

2006-03-01T20:37:00.000-08:00

This one's going to be a bit of a rambler, I fear, and probably laden with internal contradiction, but that's what happens without an editor! Go instant publishing! ;-)

I was listening to a new (to America, at least) album by Sia, and found myself questioning the foundations of talent in voice performers vs. instrument performers. Sia is just a singer-songwriter, and doesn't play any instruments (not as her main role, anyway), but I really like her music. This, however, is not my standard reaction. There are many vocalists I admire and respect, and whose music I really enjoy, like Tori Amos and Fiona Apple, but they are also very skilled pianists.

Usually, I'm not impressed by people who just sing.

Even when I look at that, it doesn't make any sense. Being able to manipulate the human vocal cords, using nothing but air to create music is physically awesome. The fact that people can even create music without an instrument is, again, physically very interesting. But, when I see a performer in a band who does nothing but sing, I always have the same feeling: they're lazy.

I'm not sure where this inherently contradictory idea came from, but I'm going to go ahead and blame pop music - the N'Syncs, Brittany Spears and O-Towns (the "O" must, by now, stand for "obscure"...heh). Those bands, comprised of nothing but singers, are essentially devoid of any real critical acclaim. They don't write their own material, and their songs are constructed purely for maximum market impact.

It just seems rare in today's musicscape to find a true artist that is only a singer. Thus, when a singer comes along, my presupposition is that they have less talent than someone who can play a multitude of instruments.

I suppose there is also a bit of romanticism in this, too. Everyone has a throat and lungs. Everyone has the physical potential of being a singer. But with an instrument, that's like another language.

I don't really like feeling this way. So, who are some modern artists that just sing that could reverse the stereotype I have developed?

I don't think I'll ever be able to take any musician seriously who does not write the bulk of their own material - I'm an auteurist, what can I say...I want someone who is not only a skilled technician, but also an artist saying something they need to say - but I would certainly like to discover some really great new singer-songwriters.

Any suggestions?

And The Oscar Goes To...

2006-02-28T19:37:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, we went to the Varsity to check out their screenings of all the Academy Award-nominated short films (both live-action and animated). We assumed they would be good.

Instead, the bulk of them sucked.

Out of the rough, two diamonds shone. Cashback, the live-action by fashion-and-portrait-photographer-turned-filmmaker Sean Ellis (its also being turned into a feature film this year; I can't yet decide if that is a good or bad idea) and The Fan and the Flower (animated) by Bill Plympton. Both stunningly beautiful in their own, drastically different ways. Cashback will will the Oscar. It has to. The Fan and the Flower isn't nominated (yeah, um, I don't know why it was in the screening, either).

In fact, Cashback is now available for purchase from the iTunes Store. Hooray! (I have been trying since I saw it for the first time in June to download or buy it, so finding it nestled between Pixar shorts and episodes of Lost made me very happy)

16 May, 1999

2006-02-27T00:39:00.000-08:00

On that day, I sat in Cinerama and watched my first SIFF film. It was called Los Amantes del Círculo Polar, and it changed my life. Seeing Goodfellas for the first time instilled in me the desire to become a filmmaker. Seeing Amantes not only solidified that desire, but basically helped me define what kind of filmmaker I wanted to become. Seeing that film has become a unique life-experience: it was my first film festival movie, it was my first SIFF movie (a festival which I am now sponsoring!) and it is a film that has helped pave my path as an adult.

It is also a film that I have faithfully replayed in my head for the past 7 years.

And what's really exciting? I can FINALLY share this film with my wife (in the way it's meant to be seen), because it is coming out on DVD on April 25th! All 112 minutes. All 2.35:1.

Simple Dreams

2006-02-22T21:17:00.000-08:00

Two posts in one day. Holy shit! :-)

I have a dream. To live in New York and by the stand-by guest for The Daily Show. This, of course, requires that I be interesting, and preferably famous. I'll work on that.

Visiting Cuba

2006-02-22T20:44:00.000-08:00

Ok, ok. I'm a little behind schedule (I subscribe to the very "elastic" definition of "little"), but that's what happens when your lazy. I wish there were a better reason for my tardiness, but there isn't. Sure, I suppose I was busy, but I also could have forgone the Today Show in the mornings (it sucks, I know it sucks, everyone knows it sucks, and yet I keep watching it. I feel compelled. Why? Why? Damn you, Couric. Damn you and your thin, glossy lips) and American Idol at night (damn you Cowell. Damn you and your thin, glossy lips).

Anyway. On to the topic.

On Monday, I was teaching my Final Cut Pro class. Now, every time I teach the class, I always try to bring in a pretty esoteric CD for the "How do you Import Music From a CD" lesson. This week I brought El Kilo by Orishas, a hip-hop group from Cuba. One of the students asked me when I had gone, to which I had to mournfully reply that I hadn't, it was a gift from a friend. He said that I had to go, but that I had to do so before Castro dies. Cuba he says, is the only developed nation in the world not to be smothered by the muddy, socio-economic boot-print of America (my words). As soon as Castro departs, the country will probably open up and suffer gladly McDonalds and Starbucks littering every street, like crusted pock marks on a stubbled cheek (my words, again).

I've been wanting to travel to Cuba for as long as I was aware that I couldn't (or, at least, might be fined for doing so). At first, it was all about the allure of the unattainable...but now I have a real reason. To escape the soul-crushing, American global economy.

Hyperbole aside, it sounds so refreshing to go somewhere and be truly foreign. Lost. Alone. Dare I say it, a stranger in a strange land.

The FCC and the Right Wing

2006-02-11T12:15:00.000-08:00

The FCC recently re-did their November 2004 study on the piece-mealing of cable channels. In their first report, the FCC claimed that an "à la carte system would result in blacking out niche networks, thereby reducing choice, and cause companies that sold advertising over a combination of channels to depend on revenue from only the surviving ones, thereby forcing them to raise their rates for those channels" (Studio Briefing, 2/10/06). The new study reverses that opinion, and says instead that allowing individual channel subscriptions would offer consumers "substantial benefits" and a reduced cable bill.

The new study has been praised by "family-oriented" groups (read: Conservative Christians) because it would allow parents to simply not subsribe to offensive channels. But, Rod Tapp, of Inspiration Networks, says it "could represent the death knell for much of the wholesome programming available today from smaller independent channels." Why? Because without the smut that people ACTUALLY want to watch, smaller, wholesomer (yeah, I know...but it should be a word!) stations wouldn't exist - since cable is all bundled together, stations like FX, Comedy Central and other "edgier" stations bring subscribers and the rest just piggy-back along.

The Religious Right, they are finally admitting, needs smut. Their financial success is directly tied to the financial success of that which they want to eliminate.

Dear God, the irony slays me.

SNIP06

2006-02-11T09:57:00.000-08:00

The phone rings at work the other day. I answer, with the usual pre-fabricated greeting.

Other end of the line: *typing*...[in a computerized voice] Good morning.

It's 5.42p.

Me: "Hi, what can I do for you?"

Other end of the line: *typing*...[computerized voice again] I would like to talk to you about Thomas Aquinas.

At this point, I couldn't help but be intrigued.

Me: "Oooohkay..."

Other end: *typing*...[computer] But first, you must do me a favor.

And then they hung up.

It's probably a good thing that the conversation ended there, but I sure am curious what the favor was going to be.

SNIP05

2006-02-03T13:04:00.000-08:00

A woman walks into to work carrying a goldfish in a water-filled plastic bag.

Another customer in the store glances at the bag and asks, "Is that a pet, or for food?"

The woman wrinkles her face into a look of dismissive disgust and says, "Um, I don't eat guppies."

And We're Back

2006-01-27T19:17:00.000-08:00

So, I actually got back from Costa Rica quite a while ago (you can check pix here). Since then, I've completed the sponsor reel for the 2006 Palm Springs Film Festival, added a new project to our Seattle Film Festival contract, finished principal photography on Throbosho! (post should be done on Saturday...fingers crossed), saw Fiona Apple and Coldplay at KeyArena (fanboy alert: TOTALLY AWESOME), took a long weekend in Leavenworth and went skiing (I haven't been in several years, and had forgotten how fucking exhilerating it is...even on the bunny hill. We're going again in a couple of weeks, and I am dead-set on skiing the back-side of Steven's Pass. Hopefully I will not die), and spent more time than I'd like at my day job. So, anyway. I'm back.

And, on my Not-Another-New-Year's-Resolution-List is to blog at least twice a week. Talk to you all soon!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

2005-12-23T00:19:00.000-08:00

On Saturday morning, we leave for Costa Rica. I probably won't be blogging while I'm down there (I'll actually have better things to do, I figure), so there will be a notable absence here.

Deal. :-)

I'll be back soon, and post all the highlights of our trip!

G5 v. G4...FIGHT!

2005-12-19T09:32:00.000-08:00

For the past couple of weeks, I've been doing some work for the Palm Springs Film Festival. I had to burn a test DVD and FedEx it down to them today. I've been working on the project on my PowerBook (G4/1.33) because I've been doing a lot of it while on the road/away from home. Today, I went to render the timeline - it was going to take 21 minutes. Just out of curiosity, I transfered the file to my tower (G5/2.0DP) to see how long it would take...

Drum roll, please...

6 minutes!

Sweet.

It's always nice to have quantifiable proof for upgrades. Besides the shiny-factor. :-)

Five Facts about This Yak

2005-12-15T12:21:00.000-08:00

1. My wife and I collect rubber ducks. Over the last couple of years, we have accumulated about 50.
2. I was the second-youngest person in my high school's graduating class of 400+.
3. I used to be hyper-involved in my church, from being an acolyte to the president of the youth group. Now I don't even have a faith.
4. In middle school, I dressed like a skater, hung out with skaters and was afraid of skateboarding. I believe there's a word for that kind of person.
5. I married my first kiss.

I would infect five more people...but I don't know five people with blogs who haven't already been infected. Except for Tim. Go, Tim, go!

SNIP04

2005-12-12T01:14:00.000-08:00

AMC 20. Spokane. 9:00p, 12/12. The self-service credit card machine had "Holidays" misspelled on its scrolling reader board as "Hollidays"; a pamphlet for the Spokane Hospice had "Hospice" written as "Ho pice" - yep, there was even a space where the "s" was supposed to go.

SNIP02, 03

2005-12-11T14:10:00.000-08:00

02
A customer came up to me the other day and asked if we had anyone that specialized in Windows troubleshooting. I told him we did have one guy (we are a MAC store, after all). The customer asked, "is it that guy over there?" pointing to another counter. I told him it was. "Yeah," the customer replied. "I didn't like his answer. He told me I had to reinstall my operating system."

First of all, you not liking the answer does not make it less true; and secondly, its Windows - what do you expect?

03
Andrew (the aforementioned Windows expert) and I were walking to work when we noticed an empty store-front across the street. "You know what?" asked Andrew. "We should open up a Windows repair shop over there called 'Wipe Your Drive, Reinstall Your OS' where, for $100 we'll wipe your drive and reinstall Windows and for $200 we'll back up your data, wipe your drive and reinstall your OS. No diagnostics, no testing, just wiping and reinstalling. If people don't like it, we can tell them to walk across the street and buy a Mac."

Snips

2005-12-11T10:06:00.000-08:00

What is a Snip? Well, unlike Phoenix, most of the moderately humerous things that happen in my life are usually just small little niblits, instead of long, novel-worthy events - a funny conversation, a crazy person doing something crazy across¹ the street, a bizarre customer interaction, etc.

So, I'm going to just start posting them as such. We'll start with SNIP01.

6:15am. Saturday, 12/10. Gas station on the corner of Broadway and Pine. It's dark. It's cold. The streets are eerily empty. I'm pumping gas in preperation for our drive to Spokane. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a man approaching.

"Hey, man," the guy says. "Look, my girlfriend and I got into an argument after a bachelor party and she took my car. I'm trying to get some bus fare to get down to Federal Way. Can you spare some change?"

I shake my head.

Points for creativity, though. And universality. Who can't relate to that shitty situation. Good luck, morning bum. Good luck.

¹ Can someone explain to me why some people say "acrosst"?

Remember When?

2005-12-02T07:44:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday, E!'s show Gastineau Girls was run commercial free with sponsorhip from AOL.

Remember when being "commercial free" used to mean something? Like when Schindler's List ran commercial free back in what were apparently the Good Ol' Days?

A Funny Thing Happened...

2005-12-01T18:31:00.000-08:00

The other day, I'm heading down to Gig Harbor for an on-site FCP consultation. During the ENTIRE ONE-HOUR CAR RIDE, all I could think was, "what's the name of the guy in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum?" WHY, WHY, WHY?

Damn you, Zero Mostel. Damn you.

No, onto the post.

Two interesting things happened at work today.

1) A new hire started today. He showed up a 9a, filled out his tax paperwork, got a store shirt in his size, started training in our POS device and quit. 2.5 hours. That has to be a record. Maybe it was because I kancho-ed him.

2) I found out that one of the other guys at work is the founder/webmaster of the single greatest post-11/2/04 website ever made: Sorry Everybody. I am in total awe of this guy. I want his autograph. It's funny - he doesn't like to broadcast it; I just happened to find out through a strangely circuitous route not worth recounting. Man, if I were that guy, I would announce it to everyone I met. But, then again, I am in constant need of validation and positive reinforcement. No, I'm serious. Please, tell me you like me. Please.

Death to Smokers

2005-12-01T17:52:00.000-08:00

I just read a funny comment on Seattlest:

"There is one thing I like about cigarettes -- they kill stupid people, and I do support a person's right to die" (Tumbleweed).

IMHO

2005-11-30T14:16:00.000-08:00

IMHO. In my humble opinion.

A well-worn discussion board acronym. Perhaps overused. I read a beautiful rant somewhere¹: Why bother saying IMHO? Everything you say/type is, in fact, your opinion; no need to state the obvious.

This got me thinking (shower): all the information that we come in contact with has been through the filter of another human. Bias is a pretty overdiscussed idea, and that's not what I'm getting at. The fact that all information comes from other people means that Truth (go capital T!) exists somewhere outside the human experience, in another dimension of reality altogether. Even events that happen directly to us are filtered through our own brains, which impose past experiences (which were filtered to begin with...a matryoshka of filtering!) and attitudes. The Truth of the event will never be known by anyone. Evar!

So, why bother trying to be completely unbiased? If the absolute Truth of something will never be known, then wouldn't the emotional truth of the observer/reporter be something to aim for? I think that by trying to retell the Truth, and nothing but it, we are manipulating reality even further. We CAN'T tell the Truth, and by trying to strip away emotion and bias from our discussion of events, we are losing emotional accuracy...the only accuracy that is actually achievable.

This, of course, is simply my humble opinion.

¹: Hell, it could have been Thomas or Phoenix for all I can remember. Or - shock and awe - maybe it was one of those rare, cogent posts on the IMDb message boards! I'll try and source it later.

Bullets over Malls

2005-11-30T09:53:00.000-08:00

A kid recently shot up the Tacoma mall. Reason: his girlfriend broke up with him, and he wanted everyone to feel his pain. Let me get this straight: you have a gun. You know where she - the woman who crushed your heart - lives. You shoot up a mall. Anyone else see the stupid? Maybe, if the guy wasn't a dumbass (proof of claim: he shot up a fucking mall!), she wouldn't have dumped him.

Moral of the story: don't shoot up a mall, or your girlfriend will dump you, causing you to shoot up that mall.

:-|

Planned Obsolescence

2005-11-30T08:58:00.000-08:00

Working in computer sales, I am often confronted with customers who are extremely angry because their six year old iMac G3 won't run the latest OS. I mean on-the-edge-of-violence angry! "I am so sick of this planned obsolescence!" they cry.

First, let me explain something. The computer itself will run as long as the individual components last. Like everything else in the world. The computer does not self-destruct after a certain number of years, forcing you to upgrade. Sure, because nobody wants to pay $12k for a personal computer, the quality of parts is not high enough to withstand 20 years of continuous life¹, but the machine could probably run in its current state for more than a decade.

What limits the life of a machine is not the machine itself; nope - it's the user. The user buys a computer that can do X, Y and Z. A year later, a new piece of software comes out that does A, B and C. The user says, "that looks cool/I need² that!" But, oh no, the computer they bought wasn't built for that software. That's when they come in and yell at me. The machine is not ceasing to function, but the technologies surrounding the computer are changing. Analogy: you buy a SD TV today. In 2009, when the FCC mandates the broadcasting switch to HD, would you expect your TV to just magically alter its mechanical configuration? No. Because that would be stupid.

Ah, but here's a rebuttal: "Why do software manufactuers design software so quickly as to outdate even a 6 month old system? That doesn't seem fair." Here's the answer: the user. The user base demands more functionality out of their software. So, the people who make software abide. But, as the software gets more extensive it requires different hardware. In order for the software to function efficiently, the programmers had to find hardware that would process their heavier commands. Because the user wants more, and they don't want to wait on clumsy software, they demand technology to change around (and beyond) their computer.

But there's more! "But," a customer will say, "why can't computers be more upgradable?" The reason that Apple computers are so stable (more so than Generic Windoze Computer Company) is because Apple has complete control over their hardware AND software. They make everything, so they know it's going to work. This makes the price a bit higher (and the profit margin a bit larger - 30%, on average), but (see footnote) the quality also goes up. If computers were generally more upgradable, they would be far more prone to hardware conflicts and system catastrophe. Users would not accept an upgradable machine that would break (or at least suffer a higher probability of breaking) after the upgrade! And software would generally be slower, as well. If programmers have to constantly program for an unpredictable number of hardware variants, the code will get longer and clunkier.

So, to answer the original complaint of "why is my computer out-of-date?" You. What you want out of your computer causes it to become obselete. Kinda sucks.

And, from a phsychological stand point: you are going to die. I think deep down, whenever people complain about their G3 iMacs, they are just confronting their own mortality.

All I can say is this. Don't take out your fear of death on some poor computer salesman. He doesn't want to die, either.

¹ This is another thing people don't understand. "Why did my printer break after only a year?!" "You paid LESS THAN $100 for it! How long did you expect it to last?" Epson does make a $4k printer. If you want a printer to last forever, be ready to pay for it. Price and quality are almost always directly proportional. A company (mostly) is not going to take a loss on a product. In fact, they are in the business of making money, and are probably making a profit on what you're buying. You're buying a $100 printer. Conservatively, let's assume that the merchant is making 10% on the sale. That puts the printer at $90. The distributor is probably also taking 10%. That puts the printer at $81. The manufacturer is probably taking at least 15%. That puts the manufacturing/materials cost of the printer at $68.85. Oh, and the printer came with a set of ink. The retail cost of that ink is $50. There is a lot of markup on ink, so we'll estimate the manufaturer's cost at $4.85. Cost of printer: $64. This printer is something that you use at least once a week. It has single-pixel accuracy (of which there are over 9k/letter-sized-sheet), several moving parts and distributes ink onto paper with volumes as low as 3 picoliters. The printer has RAM and a small processor hiding within that plastic shell, to interpret and store what the computer is sending to it. Seriously, how long did you expect it to last? I had somebody call yesterday (seriously, that's not a literary hyperbole) complaining that their Epson C82 had just died. That's a THREE year old, sub-$100 printer! What the fuck, people?
² I sure use italics a lot. I guess I just love my own emphases!

Opera

2005-11-29T23:14:00.000-08:00

So, Opera is free now...seems like it might be pretty kick ass. We shall see.

(note: despite having three different rendering options - identify as Opera, Mozilla or Internet Explorer - it doesn't display Blogger's prefernce/posting pages correctly)

Poll

2005-11-29T15:52:00.000-08:00

If Santa were real, which corporation would own him?

Say It Ain't So

2005-11-29T15:23:00.000-08:00

This is an intersting bit of news. Bush, reportedly, wanted to bomb the headquarters of al-Jazeera and was talked out of doing so by Tony Blair. Apperently, there's a transcript of the situation. D'oh.

The Daily Mirror; al-Jazeera

There are two things so spectaculary stupid about the idea, that I don't doubt its truthiness (damn you, Colbert report). One, the very idea of bombing a news outlet because their coverage is not Pro-US is so absurd it has a ring of truth. Second, Qatar is a US ally! Would Bush bomb the press in an allied country?

My vote: absolutely.

Oh, let this memo be published. Let the world (and, more specifically, our own country) finally and irrecoverably know what a madman we have at the reigns.

My two front teeth, and this shit to hit the fan. That's all I want for Christmas.

I'm Finally Cool

2005-11-27T21:43:00.000-08:00

My subscription to The New Yorker just started. I'm feel smarter already.

Where's the Turkey?

2005-11-24T09:54:00.000-08:00

At work, we just released our holiday flyer - you know, for post-Thanksgiving sales and such.

Well, in addition to there being five (5!) typographical errors ¹ - including a listing that says we carry the 6GB iPod Nano for $249 - there are, I shit you not, only two (2!) actual sales. Six (do I have to do it again? Fine. 6!) pages of...and this is sure to get the crowds bursting down our doors...STANDARD RETAIL PRICES!

¹ We actually got an e-mail from our corporate offices saying "It's no big deal! Only five errors for all this hard work is pretty standard." What the fuck? In college, no matter how long your paper was, if you had more than three grammatical/spelling errors, you failed. Period.

Old Spice

2005-11-23T15:47:00.000-08:00

What is the deal (to usurp a comic paradigm from Jerry Seinfeld) with Old People Stank?

There is a subset of the elderly who suffer from a common smell - it doesn't matter where in the country I am, or what race or socio-economic strata the person is in, the smell is always the same.

What the fuck is it?

Most of the time, the aroma is faint enough that I can just play it off as "Oh, they're old...isn't that cute?" But sometimes, like on this morning's commute, it was deafening...yeah, just think about how bad a deafening smell is.

Bus Talkin' (a categorization)

2005-11-23T15:17:00.000-08:00

Anyone who has ever ridden public transportation knows the Bus Talker. The Bus Talker, as a species, is not limited to just buses, though - the moniker is just a useful abbreviation.

Here is a guide to the most common types.

The most widely populated subset of the Bus Talker is the At group. Ats are those that sit next to some unsuspecting transit patron and talk at them. Not "to" them - the "to" would imply some sort of receipt by the person on the receiving end. No, these people just blather on in the general direction of someone else about anything under the sun (cats, the Mariners, the engineering feats of the U.S. railroad system). Ats have a tendency to speak in either opines, rants or simply lists of facts.

Second to the Ats are the Crazies. Crazies speak using the At principle, but the content of their speech is defined by the fact that it is, well, crazy - usually along the lines of the evils of dentistry (the government can track you through your fillings, you know).

NegNarcs. This particular group is the strangest, to me. The name is simply a conjunction of "Negative Narcissists." They will sit next to someone and actually attempt to hold a conversation (unlike the Crazies and Ats). The subject of their conversation, however, revolves around them - and the bad things they have done, are doing, or are planning on doing. Example: what drugs they are on, or what drugs they are on their way to procure; how they were raped while in rehab; or the current state of their herpes infection. These conversations usually end with an offer or request for a phone number.

X Talkers. Bus Talkers, to the Extreme! This is a relatively new breed, as far as my encounters go. They differ from the Ats insofar as they are not content to talk at one person - no, this group will attempt to talk at everybody! They will move about the bus, looking for any empty seats. If the bus is full, they will simply shout up and down its length.
Personal Anecdote: The other night, coming home from work, an X Talker was doing his thing on the bus. He kept moving from seat to seat, talking/yelling at anyone. He was making his way toward my row, and I was in no mood. About three rows back from me, he plops down next to an elderly Hispanic gentlemen. The Hispanic man literally held his hand up, as though to say "stop" and pulled out a bundle of Spanish Watchtower magazines. It was glorious.

Funny...and sad

2005-11-23T15:13:00.000-08:00

This made me laugh. But it also made me hate (or, rather, hate more) the human race.

Sigh.

Just what I needed. More fuel for my misanthropic fire.

Missing the Point

2005-11-16T18:22:00.000-08:00

First, I want to quote a recent article that appeared in Studio Briefing:

TV Documentary Forces Pentagon To Retract Statement

Faced with footage from an Italian documentary showing white phosphorus shells being dropped on Fallujah during last year's offensive and interviews with two American soldiers who had witnessed the results of the chemical's use, the Defense Department on Tuesday retracted an earlier statement saying that it had only been used for illumination. "It was used as an incendiary weapon against enemy combatants," spokesman Lt. Col. Barry Venable told the BBC, "though not against civilians." However, the Italian documentary, produced by the state-owned RAI, showed the burned bodies of civilians, including women and children. In the interview, Venable denied that white phosphorus missiles can be considered a chemical weapon. He called it a "conventional munition" and noted that the U.S. was not a signatory to an international treaty barring its use against civilians. He said that the Pentagon's earlier statement that it was used only for illumination was based on "poor information." The Italian documentary received little press coverage in the U.S., where no nightly network newscast even mentioned it.

Second, I want to provide a link to a BBC article about the same thing, but focusing more on the use of white phosphorus (WP) as a weapon.

Third, to comment.

People seem to be getting upset that we're using WP as a weapon - specifically, that we're using the chemical properties of WP to inflict injury.

But, what is the point of war? Isn't the point of war to inflict injury upon the defined enemy in an attempt to cause said enemy to cease their agression/concede land (or power, or whatever it is that caused the war)? Mike, I expect a detailed answer in the comments on this one.

So, what's the problem?

I believe war is one of those currently essential evils of the human experience. Once all the people who cause war to be necessary are exterminated, I believe that the very idea of war can be something relegated to the history books (or brain-implanted LearnChip3000s, by the time that actually happens).

But, we're here...and we have to deal with it. Nobody seems to have trouble with combustible injuries. We blow people up every day. But, if we kill them via chemical reactions, it's a big taboo? First point (of a pithy, scientific nature): explosions are chemical! We use the chemical properties of combustible materials (that's what makes them go BOOM) in everything from bullets to bunker busters. Second point: aren't we just doing our job, if we kill the enemy...by whatever means necessary? This does, of course, require the assumption that it is our job to be in the current war, but that's another debate altogether.

I think the real issue here is War as Public Relations. You cannot put a happy face on war. Liberation. Democracy. Freedom. They all end in, and begin with, violence. Couch the death of thousands of people with as many loaded words as you want, you will never escape the fact that someone had to have their whole middle section ripped apart by a mortar to get there...and that was just in the last few minutes.

If we're going to be in a war, why can't we just embrace the death and violence as a necessary component of battle. It's what FUCKING DEFINES WAR. War = people dying. Period. War is not an infusion (or infection, as it were/is) of values, war is not the liberation of a country. War is not peace.

Eat a piece of meat. An animal had to die for you to chew on its fat and muscle. There's no way around it. It is an inescapable fact. You can't eat dead animal without an animal DYING. You can't have a war without people dying - specifically, without people killing other people...in horrible ways.

I don't even really know where I'm going with this. Sorry.

I guess it's just this: don't try and spin war; just fight it and get the fuck out.

And this: don't try and spin war; show it and all its horror to the world; embrace the carnage as the sin qua non of war.

And, in the large-picture kind of way: just be honest...to yourself and to the world.

If you're going to go to war, people are going to die. Fire your publicist, and hire some really good combat photographers.

Perhaps, if war could really be seen by people, it would stop. Perhaps, instead of having war become a series of statistics used in political manueverings, it was exposed for what it really is, it would stop. Perhaps, instead of arguing over how people are going to die, the war is just fought and finished, it would stop.

EDIT (based on Thomas' Post):

From the Times Online: The most directly applicable international law is Protocol III of the 1980 Convention on Conventional Weapons. Under this, the use of white phosphorus is prohibited as an incendiary weapon against civilian populations. It is also banned (with clear inspiration from Vietnam) in air attacks against military forces in civilian areas. The US is not a signatory to Protocol III, although Britain and 80 other countries are.

A Weekend Visit, pt. 1 of 3

2005-11-15T22:21:00.000-08:00

This past weekend, our adorable nephew came to visit. It was our first time alone with a child (he's 3), and we learned some really interesting things.

The first and foremost was: parents are superhumans. I have no clue, no clue!, how they do it! We're still exhausted, and he's been gone for three days.

As far as "scientific" observations go, there were a few things that really struck me about our little visitor (which will be posted in three parts).

a) a lack of reason;
b) fine motor controls;
c) ability to comprehend abstractions.

I must preface this: this kid is one of the best kids I have ever had the pleasure to spend time with. He threw one fit the entire weekend, and that was because he ran full-speed into a pole. More than warranted, if you ask me.

We took him to the Seattle Children's Museum¹ on Saturday. The museum is made up of several parts. Once he had succesfully played with EVERYTHING in the first section, we wanted to take him to the next part. But, he interpreted our saying, "let's go see more" as, "we're leaving now, and you'll never be able to play again!" A little trickery ensued, and we managed to get him moving on. It was just funny that no matter how much we said, "there's more!" he couldn't understand. He was having fun in the first area, and didn't see how another area could possibly be better.

He had no concept of "more" or "coming back."

At night-time, no matter how tired he was, he would always say, "no, play!" Again, it seemed that he thought if he stopped playing and slept, that would be the last time he would ever play.

But, like I said, he's a great kid. It was just an interesting thing to witness in someone's development.

¹ Which is totally sweet, by the way.

YP, not MP

2005-11-15T19:59:00.000-08:00

(a Boogie Nights reference, for anyone up on their late-90s porn-themed-film quote trivia).

Managing a retail store, and a computer one at that, there are two things that absolutely drive me up the wall when it comes to customer complaints:

1) "Why can't I use your bathroom?"

First off, it is not my responsibility as a retailer to dispose of your excrement. I can't say it any simpler. If you walk into a place of business (with the exception of restaurants) and expect there to be a bathroom you can use, you need to rethink your position. Given the price of many of the things sold in our store, and the (very strange) remote location of our bathroom, it makes perfect financial sense to limit the number of customer that go back there. We actually had a customer who, while walking to the bathroom, noticed a 15" PowerBook box in one of the side rooms. He grabbed the box and ran into the restroom, where he tried to hide the box in the trash can and the PowerBook under his jacket. Fortunately, an employee saw the whole thing. But, this is the kind of crap we're dealing with.

And, it's just gross...especially in a big city like Seattle...especially in a relatively grungy neighborhood like the one we're located in. Do I want to have to clean up some fucking junkie's bloody mess? Fuck no. Do they - and the thieves that target our store - make life just a little harder for the rest of us? Yeah.

My advice: go kick a criminal in the balls. And then shit on his face.

2) "Why can't I get free support?"

Knowledge, in its rawest form, should be freely available to anyone who wants it (and can afford an internet connection and some library late fees). And, as far as I'm concerned, it is. One thing that modern technology has done that nobody can debate is democratized information.

However, if you want somebody else to explain said knowledge to you, you should have to pay for it. If you want someone else to have gone through the trouble of gathering that knowledge so you can utilize them, you should have to pay for it. Period. You shouldn't have to pay for the information itself, but you must be willing to pay for a person's time - both the time they spend with you, and the time they've spend over the course of their lives learning what you didn't. It's all part of the "personal responsibility" theory that I have espoused a few times here. It is your responsibility to learn whatever you need, OR be willing to pay someone else who has.

Is $90 - $110/hr (what we charge for service and support) expensive? Yeah. Is it worth it? Well, our support technicians have spend innumerous hours both getting certified and just generally soaking up technical information. They've also spent years and years and years accumulating the experience to deal with just about any problem you may throw at them. So. Would you rather log (let's say, conservatively) 10 years of your life to learn all there is to know, or pay $90? Some people, bless their hearts, would rather learn. And that is truly awesome. But, most people just don't get it. They neither want to pay, nor do they want to exercise their lazy brains.

As a semi-related aside, this what I tell customers when they come in looking for a wireless router: "you can pay $200 for the Apple router, or $70 for the D-Link. What's the difference? Well, with the Apple router, you don't need to know anything about wireless technology to make it work - it's interface is an Apple interface, and as a result is very user friendly. The D-Link one requires a bit more effort. You have to know, or be willing to learn, a bit about wireless networks to get it set up correctly." Nobody questions that. You can see it in their faces..."do I pay $130 for ease of use (and for someone else setting it up for me, essentially), or do I learn it myself?"

Spelunk This!

2005-11-14T17:54:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling my way through the cavernous building. It's dark. There's a strange mist hanging in the air like a fog. I can see, but only barely. There seems to be some semblance of a walk way but...shit. The light on my helmet goes out. I stop in my tracks. Do I dare go any further? Should I give up? The air...it's getting thick. I can't breathe. I can feel the pressure building up around me, crushing me. That smell. What's that smell?

Yep. That's me in the Post Office trying to get my passport. The smell? Pure, unfiltered bureaucracy.

I arrived just in time for the lunch crowd. Awesome. I wait in a line, and upon reaching the end, I'm told to stand in another line. Awesome, yet again.

In this line, I'm asked if I had made an appointment. Let me explain something: according to the website, you CAN NOT make an appointment at this location. Not, "You can make an appointment if you want", but, "NO! Walk-ins only, bitch!"

It seems I got there just in time. Approximately thirty seconds after I planted myself in the second line, a group of about 8 people fell in behind me. I finally made it up to the counter and the Lady in Uniform looked at a list and said, "Folks! It's going to be a while. We have appointments for the next few hours." Then she looked to me and said, "Let's get you through."

Awesome.

All in all, it only took me about an hour to DROP OFF SOME PAPERWORK! Literally. That's all it was. I had everything filled out in advance. I just had to hand it to the Lady in Uniform, raise my right hand and take an oath, and sign a sheet of paper.

But, it's all good. Perspective hit the fan when I overheard the people behind me say their flight was leaving on Thursday. As in three days from now. As in, not enough time to get a passport. Yikes.

A New Low

2005-11-14T08:14:00.000-08:00

Trumpets flourish. Confetti rains down from the sky.

Bush's approval rating has reached another all-time low: 36%.

As happy as I am that 64% of America thinks he's doing a terrible job, I'm still a little stunned - only 14% of the people that voted for Bush in the first place have finally realized how wrong they were?

What are the rest of people thinking? I want to know: what is Bush and his administration doing that is good? Or worth approving of?

Bansky

2005-11-13T21:06:00.000-08:00

http://www.banksy.co.uk/menu.html.

Amazing. Now, if only more building owners would say, "Hey, do me next!"

I do think it is wrong to deface someone else's property (I don't think anyone would like it if someone broke into their house and painted on their walls) - but I do think that more people should have the guts to allow it.

Business owners routinely allow posters to be hung in their windows, why not paint on their exterior walls?

There is actually a street here in Seattle that does this - but it's a back road that goes from the Industrial District down to Renton (it actually holds about a half-mile stretch)...so, pretty much nobody sees it. Why not have a rotating exhibit across all the business fronts on Fourth Avenue?

Practice What You Preach

2005-11-12T19:23:00.000-08:00

In my FCP class, I always spend a lot of time teaching students how to keep their media organized. I always say, "If you spend a little extra time at the beginning setting up your drive structure and being diligent and logical about where you save and export files, you'll save yourself a lot of time and headache down the road when - inevitably - something goes wrong and you have to root around your hard drive looking for stuff."

Well, while =I=¹ know where everything is on my computer, my file structure was - to put it bluntly - totally fucked (up the ass, even...it was that bad). I had - I shit you not - four of the same folder ("Capture Scratch"), buried within other folders spanning three hard drives. I'm not sure how Final Cut was even running like that (or, at least, running so well).

So, this is what I do tonight. I clean up my act.

Fortunately, I'm doing it before anything went wrong, and I suppose the whole episode could make a nice anecdotal tale for my next batch of students. "Look, it took me DAYS² to recreate a proper drive structure, when it would have only taken me FIVE MINUTES³ if I had done it right in the first place!"

Oh - and I'm totally keeping my autosave vault on a seperate drive from my project files and capture scratch. This way, if any drive goes down, I don't lose everything. The Internet is smart. I wonder where it went to school. :-)

¹ Shout out to TJB.
² Over-exaggeration, for dramatic affect.
³ Under-exaggeration, for dramatic affect.

Working Title

2005-11-11T19:10:00.000-08:00

D, a skinny, stubled technician and K, a rotund manager, sit in the back of the computer repair department.

D's bench is littered with the innards of a sick PowerBook and K is elbow deep in a G5.

D focuses intently on the parts before him.

How long are you going to keep fucking with that before you order a new logic board?

K looks up from the silver beheamoth.

It just seems so strange that we can't isolate it any further. Mechanics don't say, "Yep - I definately hear the clunk. We're just gonna get you a new engine, ma'am."

Shit. I lost a screw.

K smiles.

You're totally screwed.

D rolls his eyes.

B, a tall, hipsterish fellow in his late 20s walks in and tosses his bag next to the tech bench.

I'm at this guy's house, setting up a printer, and he starts talking to me about this camera he has. "It's a Nikon...it has 4300 megapixels." I didn't have the heart to tell him that it's a Nikon 4300 with about 2 megapixels.

4300 megapixels! "Now, with more resolution than reality!"

"So powerful, it can see your soul."

I thought that was a Photoshop plugin.

No. You have to use Kai's PowerSoul.

They all laugh...and laugh, and laugh.

Halfway through a hearty guffaw, K's eyes go wide and his voice trails off.

Oh my God.

The laughter stops.

What?

B and D look at the G5.

What did you do?

K looks from B to D.

We are...so geeky.

Smoke-Free Washington!

2005-11-09T08:08:00.000-08:00

Washington State now has the strictest smoking ban in the country!

Passing 62:37, Initiative 901 bans smoking in all public places (with the exception of tribal land) as well as within 25 feet or less from entrances, exits, opening windows and ventilation intakes.

The measure will take place in 30 days.

Woot!

Those Who Cannot Do...

2005-11-08T23:00:00.000-08:00

Yikes - the instructor for our Beginning Mac OS X classes has lost his voice.

I've been called in to pinch-hit.

It's a four hour class. I'm a little skeptical that I can talk about the basics of an operating system for that long...but we shall see. I've always taken comfort with my Final Cut Pro classes because there is so much to discuss - as in a shit-load. Literally. No matter how fast I go, there's always more I could teach.

What's even better? I won't get to see the syllabus for the class until a few hours before I have to teach it. Good fun. :-)

Dreams of Late

2005-11-07T23:38:00.000-08:00

I've been having this dream, off and on, for the past several months now...and it's really starting to get on my nerves.

First off, let me say: I'm a huge fan of bad dreams - there is no better feeling than the realization that whatever terrible thing you were just experiencing was just a dream. In fact, I'd go so far as to say I love - really love having nightmares - but they have to be the truly terrifying. The kind that make you sweat. The kind that make you scream yourself awake. The kind that inspire a post-coital euphoria to engulf your body as the fog of reality floods your brain.

This dream...it's just annoying.

I'm back in college. I'm wandering around campus, talking with a friend and I realize, "Holy crap. I've been forgetting to go class." As in, I signed up for a class, and have either a) never been (and it's now nearly halfway through the quarter), or b) I've skipped one day, and forgot to go the next, and that pattern continued for several weeks. So now I'm freaked out - I've missed tests, homework...there's no way I can catch up. Can I convince some higher-up to let me drop the class altogether, seeing as how I've simply forgotten to go? And it's always a Math class. Which is weird, since Math was my favorite¹ (and easiest) subject. And then I wake up.

There's also a variant where I get lost in the Math buidling looking for the teacher to try and explain the situation, but that part of the dream has only happened a few times.

What the hell is going on inside my head?

For now, I'm blaming it on my nightly cheese snacks.

¹ Other than Film, of course - but that was my major...so it can't - for some reason - count.

I Like Big Butts

2005-11-07T17:36:00.000-08:00

A minor celebrity sighting. Sir Mix-A-Lot came into the store today and purchased a Mac Mini (G4/1.25 512/40 COMBO, to be exact).

I, of course, was oblivious to all the hubub until somebody whispered "That's Sir Mix-A-Lot!" in my ear.

Some Thoughts (Edit)

2005-11-07T10:17:00.000-08:00

Here are some interesting ideas/facts (the relationships may be stochastic, but are nonetheless thought-provoking).

1) Birth control is causing the average intelligence of America to go down. Those who are of above average intelligence and wealth (and thus able to afford better education), use birth control more effectively and have less offspring than those who are less intelligent and/or poor (and thus unable to afford quality education). Thus, less intelligent children are being born into homes that cannot provide them with education at a greater rate.

2) Abortion has lowered the crime rate. This is right out of Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner. Theory goes: unwanted children are more likely to become criminals when they reach 17 - 25 years old. As abortion has become legalized, the number of unwanted children born has gone down. And so, roughly 20 years after said legalization, the crime rate has reached an rather unexpected and all-time low.

Personally, I believe there should be a one-child rule. ~~As a married couple - and IF you pass a parenting approval test - you can have one child alive at a time.~~As a woman, you are allowed to have one child. After the birth of your first, you would get a tubal ligation (yeah - I know they're not 100%, but I think it's a better solution than forced abortion; and, at least, it's a reversible procedure). This would cure the population problem, and it would also help with (1) and (2). But, there is no good way to enforce this idea, and most people believe that having offspring is a right, not a privilege (which it is). The health of the group (the human race) outweighs your ability to reproduce. But, (cranky over-generalization alert!) people are selfish and seem to be incapable of thinking outside themselves.

If Only We Knew

2005-11-05T20:08:00.000-08:00

If only we knew to treasure our youth. If only we knew to soak up every moment of it, and to never waste it.

If only we knew.

If only.

If only the very act of not treasuring, of wasting the days away, is what makes our childhood worth coveting. We wish we could be young again, because when we were young we never had to think "this is an important time in my life - I should pay attention."

I find myself, more often than not, participating in events now simply to bolster my resume of life, so to speak. I have experiences, it seems, to simply have the expeience, rather than to enjoy whatever that experience may hold for me.

I always seem so fucking aware - so third-person-looking-down - of my own actions that they sometimes don't feel like mine.

I am an author and not a character - I plot my life constantly thinking "how did I get here?" and "where does this take me?" and never "wow - look where I am."

If only I knew how to turn it off, to somehow drown in the very essence of being alive and not think about it. To be a kid.

If only I knew.

Defeat

2005-11-04T18:43:00.000-08:00

Admit your defeat, Microsoft. The pain will end soon.

Requiem for a Soundtrack

2005-11-04T14:15:00.000-08:00

I'm really tired of hearing the Requiem for a Dream soundtrack used in trailers for other films.

It's good music, yes. But, it's as though the people using it as a marketing tool have never seen the film it was originally composed for. Now I see ads for Zathura and think "ass to ass." Good job, guys.

Suck it, ID

2005-11-04T13:01:00.000-08:00

Go, Daniel Dennet, Go!

Missing Post

2005-11-04T08:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I had to take my G5 into the service department at work¹. The thing is, to put it bluntly, a heavy son of a bitch². Carying it out to the car at the end of the day, my back siezes up. "What the fuck?", I thought to myself. "This is no good".
I end up getting the computer into the car³ and then, when I got home, I couldn't get out. I literally couldn't move. I had to call my wife from the garage and have her walk me up to the apartment.
And it's really fucking hard to type when you're laying completely flat on the floor.
Arg.
Today is a little better, but I still can't stand for more than a few minutes, and sitting is pretty diffuclt. So, looks likes lots of floor for me! Hooray.

¹ My computer makes some interesting noises; we all thought I needed a new power supply, but it turns out the G5 is just destined to "chirp" - in fact, the issue has to do with the "napping" feature of the processor set. Processors rest - or nap - up to 95% of the time, and have the ability to cycle between active and nap several times a second. And it's that fast cycling that causes the noise. There is a program called Chud that comes with Apple's Developer Tools that allows you turn napping on and off, so, if it gets too out of hand, I can always perma-activate the processors temporarily.

² 48 lbs., to be exact. The funny thing is, no single component weighs more than half a pound. It's all the beautiful casing. Damn.

³ In hindsight, a very stupid idea.

Controlling Creativity

2005-11-02T08:35:00.000-08:00

Last week I had a very interesting realization.

I am not in control of my own creativity.

I was working on a project, and the deadline was looming. And I had nothing. I had three days to cut something together, and the ideas were...somewhere else.

I took extra showers - maybe that would help. I watched footage trying to get inspiration. I spent far too many hours watching music videos, in search for a good idea I could...ahem...crib.

Then...BAM! Several ideas came flooding in all at once (one of which extended beyond the limitations of the technology I was using, which was simultaneously thrilling and depressing).

I would just be nice if there were some sort of formula, some structure, to when creativity strikes. Getting ideas must be the result of some sort of neural or chemical reaction in the brain...surely we must be able to harness that and bottle it (or, perhaps, roll it up and smoke it)?

Oh, Irony

2005-11-02T08:34:00.000-08:00

http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=482

A funny comic, overall, but this specific strip is the first to make me laugh out loud in a while. The laugh, of course, was ironic.

Get Rich

2005-10-31T14:34:00.000-08:00

An article on the IMDb reports that there are groups trying to boycott the new Jim Sheridan film Get Rich or Die Tryin'. The thing I want to point out here is not that people are boycotting the film (they can do whatever the hell they want), but the fact that nobody is claiming to have seen the film - all their fuel for the boycott seems to be stemming from the title. From the article: "...it appears [!] to her that the message of the movie is basically, 'Do whatever you can to get ahead and advance yourself -- even if it includes violence.'" But what if - and, knowing what an intellegent and sensitive filmmaker Mr. Sheridan is (My Left Foot, In America), this is a big "if" - the title is...I dunno...ironic, or otherwise carries meaning beyond the entirely literal?

I think there should just be a rule: don't boycott something you haven't seen. Oh, wait...there already is! Don't judge a book by its cover.

2nd Place

2005-10-31T09:40:00.000-08:00

How must Samuel Alito feel, knowing that he was second choice to...Harriet Miers?

Are Those...Hooks?

2005-10-31T08:37:00.000-08:00

There is an amazingly vast underbelly to the Seattle music scene. And what would an overload of KEXP spawn in rebellion? Gypsy-burlesque Junkyard Blues, of course!

My wife and I made our way down to Jules Mae's (in Georgetown...no better neighborhood to spend Halloween, considering that the people who call it home are generally dressed in some kind of costume, even without the end of October as an excuse) to see The Bad Things. We didn't actually realize that the night was dubbed "Cabaret Macabre" until we got there and saw the posters, and successfully felt out of place in our cute Pumpkin Pi costume (she was dressed as a pumpkin, I was dressed as the number Pi).

We made our way to the Back Bar area, which is where the band was going to play, and on the stage is what looked to be a giant tripod - it stood about 12 feet tall and had a series of pulleys at its apex, from which dangled four ropes, each with a large hook at the end. This, I think, is going to end badly.

Some creepy music started to play. Four men walked on stage. One of them, a very Large (I'm guessing 350 lbs) Guy, took off his shirt and sat underneath the tripod. The other three men grabbed the hooks and pulled them down to where the Large Guy was planted. At this point, all the action was obscured by other people standing in front of us. So, all we could see were the ropes dangling around as something was going on! This, I think again, is going to end very badly.

The music stopped and one of the three guys stood up to the microphone. With a bloodied, rubber-gloved hand he said "Sorry, we're experiencing some...technical difficulties."

Uh-oh.

About another minute passed, and it looks like they were finally done. The three guys stood up, and some music kicked up again.

Large Guy reached up and grabbed a free-dangling rope and started to pull. The pulleys snapped tight...the ropes with the hooks go taught...he pulled harder and...DEAR GOD!

The hooks were pierced into the flesh on his back and were hoisting him up. Blood dripped from the giant holes in his skin as it stretched upwards.

He eventually made his way to the top of the tripod (yes, feet totally off the ground), when one of the three guys took the rope and tied it to the tripod and...if it couldn't get any stranger...spun Large Guy.

And there he dangled for a few minutes, spinning by hooks in his back with musical accompaniment.

Wow. That was new.

Did I mention it was my birthday?

NaBloWriMo

2005-10-29T20:42:00.000-07:00

After having that one month...haitus, I have decided that this month (November) I will post at least once every single day.

Am I that interesting? 30 days shall tell.

I wish you luck. :-)

Greatest. TV Ad. Ever.

2005-10-29T18:05:00.000-07:00

This is probably the most deliriously beautiful television ad I have ever seen (it is over 18MB, so give it a minute to load). I think the beauty is mostly derived from the simplicity of the thing - there are only two elements: bouncy balls, city (well, three if you count the frog).

It's so god damn good, it makes me want to cry.

It could be a museum piece. Or an ad for flat-panels.

Enjoy.

Oh, and here's a brief (really, really brief) SF Gate article about the shoot.

On Stupidity

2005-10-25T19:38:00.000-07:00

At work, we have this customer who will not leave us the hell alone. He has managed to lose both his .Mac username and password. And wants us to fix it...simply because he purchased the account from us.

A good analogy for this situation: a customer purchases a car. Three weeks later he calls the dealership and says, "Yes...I've misplaced my car...and locked the keys inside. May I get a new one, please?"

Is personal responsibility such a hard thing to grasp? If you fuck it up, suck it up.

Full Disclosure

2005-10-25T00:46:00.000-07:00

These last few posts have been coming to you from a new Apple PowerMac G5.

Hammer Time!

2005-10-25T00:43:00.000-07:00

And who says the Internet doesn't totally kick ass?

Leftist Rag

2005-10-25T00:36:00.000-07:00

First, a visual pun:

Second, an observation: Rolling Stone, over the course of the last several weeks - and, just a guess, the last several years (I've only been a subscriber for a few months) - has had extremely Blue State feature articles. I almost get the feeling that there is at least one Pro-Liberal (or, at the very least, Anti-Republican) article per issue.

Now, not only can I stay hip and current to musical trends (who else loves Kanye?), but I can further my hatred for Conservatives...all from the comfort of my toilet. Sweet.

Bueller? Bueller?

2005-10-24T23:17:00.000-07:00

Yes. I have been gone a long time. A month, I'm told.

Like the child who begs for the new pet, only to neglect it once the novelty has worn off, I have let this blog go hungry...forcing it to eat the scraps left by kind neighbors, and find a well-hidden corner of the house upon which to urinate. One day I'm sure I'll find that spot, and have nobody to blame but myself as I have to replace the carpet.

I have a queue of things to post, I just have to make the time to do it (and, naturally, find the list).

Fear not, loyal readers (and, yes, I am truthfully using a plural, thanks to ALLO, ~~Wothless~~ Worthless Hack and Apestyle), while this puppy may be skinny now, it's sure to fatten up soon (have I killed the metaphor? Survey says yes).

Kicking Your Own Ass

2005-09-19T23:01:00.000-07:00

Isn't it kind of funny that Apple has taken the hottest gadget in the world - the iPod mini - and made it uncool in a single stroke?

My wife has what used to be a cute blue mini. But when held next to the new white iPod nano, it looks like something not designed by Jonathan Ives, but by some untalented kid.

Which leads me to believe: something much, much cooler must be in the works.

An Open Letter to the President

2005-09-07T14:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr. President,

I have just one thing to say:

When you're talking about the destruction of people's homes, lives and an entire American city...STOP. FUCKING. SMILING.

You dumb, smug asshole.

Sincerely,

The Wonder Yak.

Dear Post Secret

2005-09-06T21:45:00.000-07:00

My favorite movie is Clueless, but I tell everyone it's Magnolia.

I can't tell you how relieved I feel to get that off my chest.

Somebody Call an Ambulance

2005-08-27T12:19:00.000-07:00

The other weekend, my wife and I are driving to Colville. We're about 30 miles west of Cle Elum on I-90 when one of those "I'm not making this up" moments happens.

We're in the far left lane, going about 75 - 80 mph. Far ahead, in the right-hand shoulder we see an ambulance...totally alone, with it's lights flashing. Odd, we think, but pay no real attention to it.

A Jeep with one of those 5-foot trailers hitched to it starts to pass us on the right...all of a sudden the trailer un-hitches from the back of the Jeep. It starts to careen slowly away from the Jeep and merge to the right.

I'm watching it happen, but unable to process exactly what I'm seeing - "is that some sort of weird car?" I think to myself.

The trailer glides off the road and WHAM! Direct hit to the isolated ambulance. The trailer explodes into a cloud of dust and debris, the ambulance actually remains relatively still for just having had a trailer careen into it at about 60 mph.

Cars screetch and stop behind us. The Jeep spins onto the shoulder and the owner bursts out and starts running back to the ambulance.

A few miles later, I finally decipher what the hell we just saw. "Nobody is going to believe this."

It made me want to write a script titled "No. I'm Not Making This Up" with a series of moments that are just unbelievable, but true.

A few days later, we met up with some friends at a wedding and I heard a story that would be great for such a film. Our friend works at the front desk of a hotel. One night, she gets this phone call:

Friend: "Front desk..."
Guy: (old-sounding) "Yes...is there a gentleman working there this evening?"
Friend: "No, it's just me, sir"
Guy: "I would...really...like to speak to a gentleman."
Friend: "Uh, OK..."
She goes in search for a male employee. She finds one doing laundry.
Male Employee: "What can I do for you, sir?"
Guy: "Do you have any toilet seat extenders?"
Male Employee: "....No...."
Guy: "Is there any way for you to lower the water level in your toilets?"
Male Employee: "............No..."
Guy: "It seems too high - whenever I sit down to use the restroom, my testicles dip in the water."

...?!

Excellent.

Do you have any "Nobody Will EVER Believe Me" stories?

Quack from the Past

2005-08-27T12:12:00.000-07:00

http://www.publicityinsider.com/HallOfFame.asp#5

I remember sitting in my room, late at night, calling this number over and over and over back in High School...good times.

Suck it, Pat

2005-08-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

Awesome. ihatepatrobertson.com.

And, what I'm sure will also be a wondeful page when it ends up going live: stoprobertson.com, which, according to its author, "will contain information on who contributes to Robertson’s causes and businesses and how you can help persuade them to stop sponsoring this madman."

Good times.

I Miss Tony

2005-08-24T08:59:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, we're driving the long drive that is the trip from Seattle to Colville and my mind - inspired (or, perhaps more accurately, bored) by the endless miles of wheat and alfalfa fields - began to wander.

I started thinking about college and about this great class I took on The Soranos. We watched a full three seasons in one academic quarter, wrote several essays and even had a public forum discussion on the show for the Creative Works Symposium.

While remembering all of this, I have this thought: I miss the Sopranos*. Not the show, not the class - but the actual people. As in, I miss hanging out with them. It was a very strange moment as my mind quickly tried to tell me that "dude, it's a show - they're not real".

Yikes.

The only thing left to decide is whether or not this moment is a sign of a growing insanity on my part, or just a really well-written TV show.

* I haven't had HBO since I graduated, and the season DVDs come out pretty damn slow. :-(

I concur.

2005-08-18T12:19:00.000-07:00

There's just something about this animated gif that makes me laugh...and cry.

Not at My Trial

2005-08-16T21:16:00.000-07:00

I guess what I really want to say about my previous rant re: Creationism and its rampant following in America is this:
I don't want anyone who believes in Creationism to be on the jury of my trial, should I ever be arrested for a crime I didn't commit.

There would be dozens of irrefutable witnesses attesting my innocence, but there would be one guy - one drug-addicted, trying-to-reduce-his-prison-sentence guy - as a witness against me. This guy, torn apart by my defense attorney, would somehow have his testimony admitted. And, the Creationsists on the jury...they'd all listen to him.

Why? Why not?

It makes about as much sense as believing in ONE book - one with no scientific foundation whatsoever (yeah, there are those who say that the theory of Evolution has holes, and thus Creationism/ID could be correct, but they are being stupid. Yes - Evolution might not be perfect, but saying something like "but look at the human eye!" does not constitute affirmative evidence of any other theory) - a book that was translated from an oral tradition by upwards of four different authors; a book that is just a flash in the pan of creation myths; a book that has essentially been rendered obselete by the abundance of physical evidence available to the modern man much like the myth of Posiden is no longer taken literally since humans have been able to investigate the actual causes of waves in the ocean.

Arg.

45%?

2005-08-16T09:15:00.000-07:00

According to Time Magazine, 45% of Americans believe in a literal interpretation of the creation story as outlined in the first few chapters of the book of Genesis.

I can neither express my rage in words, nor can I really control said rage (I read that stat while on the bus, and wanted to punch just under half the people riding with me), so I will quote Albert Einstein: "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

What makes me so fucking irritated? The fact that basically half of America has turned off their brains to logical analysis of the world around us. The *only* thing that we get to use in our investigation of where we are and why we're here is our mental faculties...and here we have 45% of America just saying "No".

Normally, I don't give a shit what people believe. As long as that belief system is not imposed upon anyone else. Well, with this many mental infants running around, how can this idiotic belief system NOT be imposed upon others? Oh...well, it is. Just look at the current debate over Evolution being taught in schools. Fuck.

And why, WHY, is it just the Biblical creation story? Why not any of the hundreds of other equally improbable, totally fantastical creation stories from Africa, Native Americans, Greeks, et. al.? If you're willing to believe in something as patently silly as the story of Genesis (hey - I think it is a great, elegant and wonderful story that ILLUSTRATES THROUGH METAPHOR the power of God) then you really should be taking a good, hard, critical look at all the other creation stories...oh, wait...the critical part of your brain has probably atrophed. Nevermind.

Sex Offense

2005-08-16T09:01:00.000-07:00

Issaquah just passed a new ordinance that greatly restricts where sex offenders can live after being released from jail.

Doesn't the fact that sex offenders who have been RELEASED from jail can't live where they want point to a more serious failure of our Corrective Department?

Theoretically, when you're done with jail, you are supposed to have been rehabilitated - corrected, if you will - and, by definition of being released from jail, are being allowed back into society. The hope being, that you will become a productive member of society.

But, nobody trusts those released from jail. So, what was the point of going to jail in the first place?

I'm all for Justice - of punishing people who do wrong - but wouldn't it be great if that punishment actually coincided with some greater good...like preventing future crime from the very people who have been punished?

With laws like the aformentioned being passed, it creates an interesting logical cunundrum: serving jail-time does not prepare you to reenter society (because when you're released, there are laws prohibiting you from doing so); thus you must go to jail for life.

Economics of Scale (part II)

2005-08-10T12:18:00.000-07:00

When I wrote my previous post, I did it on a render break and didn't have the wherewithall to include everything I wanted to say...but wanted to say it before I forgot (a common problem).

I don't want companies to have to foot the bill for my little PSA idea - I want it to be done in the spirit of the common good. Maybe the TV networks could figure out a cut rate for such a thing...or maybe just make it a federally funded endeavor. The government is all about the common good, right? (chuckle)

I agree with Thomas (who posted a lovely response to Part I) - we need to educate people about things like spamming and phishing. More education, less problem. And, since TV seems to be the great unifyer of our country, there's nothing like a long-running prime-time ad campaign to do the trick.

Kids of school age already know about spam and phishers and how to avoid it...it's older people, people who didn't grow up with computers that I think are the cause of such issues. They're not inherently "dialed in", so to speak, to the technology or the culture, and they become the reason that the economics of scale applies to those situations.

How do we educate those already out of school? It must be something big, something that most people are likely to participate in (be it knowingly or not).

Hell - why not have NBC just add spam and phishing to their "The More You Know" PSAs?

And, again in response to Thomas: why don't we just make it a fine-able offense for companies to send clickable links in their e-mails. They'll all stop if they have to pay up the ass for it. The FCC has "decency standards" for TV and radio...why not have decency standards for internet-based communication?

Economics of Scale

2005-08-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

Spam. Phishing. Panhandlers.

What do those three things have in common? They're all functions of scale. Spam works because, even if the return of 1M e-mails is less than a percent, it makes money; phishing works because, even if the return of 1M e-mails is less than a percent, the scam still works; panhandling works because, even if the return of a day's worth of "work" is a few bucks, it's worth trying again.

If all the big companies in America could team up with all the major television networks, we could eliminate spam and phishing. Make a series of 60s spots that describe exactly what spam is and why not to respond to those types of e-mails, those few people who are still making spam worthwhile might stop. In another series of ads, have all the major companies in America proclaim that they will NEVER send an e-mail with clickable links, that they will always send the links in such a way that you must copy and paste them from your e-mail client to your web-browser (and that all links will originate from the company's primary domain), the people who still don't know NOT to click links in e-mails will be enlightened...phishing will end.

Done. A few minutes of network air-time and we've eliminated two of the most irritating aspects of online living.

As for panhandling...well, I just want to smack people who give bums money...I'm sure we can come up with something less violent. Oh, like NOT giving pandhandlers money. Yep. That would do it.

Troubleshot

2005-08-09T08:59:00.000-07:00

Overflowing with excitement with regards to my new editing setup, I was crushed - CRUSHED - when I tried to use my new "deck" (ZR100) and it didn't work. But it didn't just "not work", it was just plain funky.

Both OS X and Final Cut Pro 5 recognized the deck and FCP output the video stream (with a lovely 2:4:4:2 pulldown, even, from my 23.98 fps timelines) to the deck, which then was able to display the video on the preview monitor. But, if I tried to capture video into FCP, the "Log and Capture" window would show a "Preview Disabled" warning and, upon pressing the "Capture Now" button, I would get a "Waiting for Timecode" and an "Operation could not be completed as there is no video" error. But, even wierder, the L&E window accurately displayed the timecode feed coming from the deck, and allowed me device control.

What. The. Fuck.

So, I cleared all the FCP preferences and cache files (com.apple.finalcutpro.plist located in ~/Library/Preferences and the two cache files in ~Library/Preferences/Final Cut Pro User Data)...no change. I created a new user account...no change. At this point I knew it had to be something at the system level. Maybe I was suffering from some derivation of the infamous QT7/Tiger/FCP issue. Removed all the QT receipts from the /Library/Receipts folder and reinstalled QT7...no change. Did it again, just in case I fucked it up...no change. Damn.

Not that it has ever worked, but I went ahead and repaired permissions...no change.

I was quietly preparing myself for the worst. Next logical step: reinstall FCP. If that doesn't work, try an Archive Install of OS X. If that doesn't work...an Erase Install. Yikes.

So, I gathered up all my software, borrowed an extra HD from work and stocked up on that great Canadian Tylenol. And sighed. A lot.
Before I did anything drastic (I had to burn/print/deliver a few DVDs for a client) I put my plea for help on the Apple Discussion site. Within 15 minutes I had a response: "Do you have a HD plugged into your computer?"

Holy shit.

I unplugged my drive...FCP captured from the deck like a champ!

But now I must ask: what the hell?

Basically, the issue is that Canon uses a very weak, quirky implementation of the Firewire 100 protocol. The way OS X handles Firewire devices, when a 100 device is on the same bus as a 400 or 800 device, you start to get conflicts. This would explain why the DVX continued to capture just fine through this whole endeavor.

Solution: to add a PCI Firewire bus. This way the drive(s) can exist on their own bus, and the camera can exist on the other.

*whew*

Culinary Adventure

2005-08-08T08:39:00.000-07:00

Not only did I have my first hushpuppy on Sunday, but I also experienced my first Ethiopian dinner.

The hushpuppies came from a great little staple of Seattle dining, The Catfish Corner. I've always been slightly fearful of the Corner - it's a bit dodgy looking, and is right off MLK (and we've all heard what Chris Rock has to say about MLK: "I don’t care where you live in America, if there is a Martin Luther King Boulevard, there is some violence going on.") in the Central District...an interesting neighborhood, to say the least. In fact, CD is filled with restaurants I've always wanted to try, but haven't because they look like the types of places the Health Department drives by saying, "Yeah - I'm sure it's fine" as they roll up their windows and lock the car doors.

I must first admit that I always thought a hushpuppy was some sort of a pie or cake...oh, they're not...they're so much better! You can't go wrong with fried corn-bread! And the catfish? Totally awesome. Breaded with some sort of miraculous crust, they're crunchy on the outside, and perfectly moist on the inside. Mm.

As for the Ethiopian food: we went to Assimba Ethiopian Cuisine, which is coincidentally located next-door to The Catfish Corner. We arrived at the restaurant, and our friend had already ordered. One meat combo, one vegetarian combo. The food arrived on one enormous plate filled with 8 piles of what essentially became dip for the injera, a spongy, tortilla-esque bread. So, one plate for the dips, one for the bread...and none for us. You eat with your hands, using the bread as a scoop.

I was definitely more a fan of the meat dishes, but everything was worth trying! I'm now determined to try some of the other Ethiopian places in Seattle (of which there are a lot - including one DIRECTLY across the street from Assimba). I'm going to start with Queen Sheba, a swanky looking joint right off Broadway on John (which is actually half Nigerian, half Ethiopian - Nigerian food on the left side of the menu, Ethiopian on the right). Taste buds: feel free to dance with anticipation.

Our dinner ends, all three of us happily stuffed (and with oodles of left-overs, which I'm surprised didn't instigate a fight over who was going to take them home). The check arrives. $27. $27?! I couldn't believe it. I was certainly expecting more (Seattle was, after all, just voted the most over-priced city in America). Somehow, that made the food taste even better.

Edit Suite? Edit SWEET!

2005-08-06T10:46:00.000-07:00

Ah. Here's my awesome, ghetto-fabulous edit suite.

(click photo for nice, large pic)

ZR100

2005-08-03T23:08:00.000-07:00

Woot.

Because my Panasonic DVX100A just wasn't good enough, I've invested in a Canon ZR100...the best one-chip, $250 miniDV camcorder money can buy!

Really, I just got it to use as a miniDV deck.

Playing back footage on the same camera you use to record drastically reduces the life of the play heads. So, in order to keep your primary recording camera in good working order, you can either invest in a really expensive deck (like Sony's DSR-11) or a cheap-ass camcorder. Sure, the camcorder will wear out long before the deck would, but you also save yourself over $2400...and you get a camcorder!

And, hats off to the Panasonic engineers, who designed the DVX such that it records 24p video into the standard broadcast template so you can play that footage back in all its beauty from any miniDV playback mechanism.

Now all I need to do is get an NTSC Preview Monitor (read: cheap-ass TV from Wal-Mart), and I'll have myself a complete analogue preview station for Final Cut Pro.

Woot, indeed.

(R)Evolutionary Ideas

2005-08-02T21:29:00.000-07:00

The debate between evolution and ID seems to have been enraged again because of some things that Bush said in a recent White House interview.

The funny thing about this debate - which is essentially a fight between Christianity and Science - is that when Darwin conceived of the the idea of evolution, it was, in part, to show the glory of God. Darwin felt that God's true power was better illustrated by a continuing, ever-changing evolution; that creation, God's most powerful act, should be something dynamic and perpetual.

Oh. But it conflicts with the wonderful fiction of the Bible...so, we can't have that.

Protest (shop)

2005-08-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

Here we are.

cafepress.com/notbush2004 will get you the NOT BUSH 04 sticker.

cafepress.com/stopextremism will get you the STOP GLOBAL EXTREMISM IMPEACH BUSH sticker.

Or, if you leave a clever enough comment, I might just give you one (or 10) for free.

Enjoy.

Fun With Math (#1)

2005-08-02T14:07:00.000-07:00

Here is the first, in a series, of useful math-related posts!

(I suppose my wife will probably debate me on the application of the term "useful"...but it has been clearly established in our relationship that I'm The One With All The Useless Crap Stored In His Brain, and she's The One Who Can Function Properly In Society)

Yes, I'm a big nerd...(but you can thank Phoenix for the inspiration).

If you ever find yourself engaged in a game of Russian Roulette (with a six chamber revolver), it is mathematically safer (and physically safer, for that matter) for you to be second player (you let the other guy pull the trigger first). Here is an explanation of why:

First, let us assign some events.
A = the event that Player 1, the player that pulls the trigger first, wins (and Player 2 dies).
B = the event that Player 2, the player that pulls the trigger second, wins (and Player 1 dies).
And then let us assign a random variable X = the number of turns until a winner is identified (either Player 1 or Player 2 dies).
The possible values for X, then, are: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... (to infinity).

If the game ends after 1 turn, Player 2 will have won (Player 1 will have blown his head off); if the game ends after 2 turns, Player 1 will have won; if the game ends after 3 turns, Player 2 will have one; if the game ends after 4 turns, Player 1 will have won.

As you can see from that, if the game ends on an odd number of turns, Player 2 will win; if the game ends on an even number of turns, Player 1 will have won.

Now let us run down some possible values for X:
P(X=1): this is, pretty obviously, 1/6. There are six chambers, only one of which contains the bullet, so the chances of dying with one spin is 1 out of 6.
P(X=2): for this to occur, the first spin/shot would have to have resulted in nobody dying. There are 5/6 chances for that to happen, because there are 5 empty chambers. Then, on the second spin, someone would have to be shot, which, as seen in
P(X=1) is 1/6. So, P(X=2) = (5/6)(1/6).
P(X=3): the same logic from P(X=2) extends here. First spin: no bullet (5/6); second spin: no bullet (5/6); third spin: bullet (1/6). So, P(X=3) = (5/6)(5/6)(1/6).
P(X=4): repeat. (5/6)(5/6)(5/6)(1/6).
P(X=5): (5/6)(5/6)(5/6)(5/6)(1/6).

As I think you can see now, there is a definite pattern emerging, which we can express as a formula:
P(X=k) = (5/6)k-1(1/6), for any integer>0.

Now let us find the probabilities of the events A (Player 1 wins) and B(player 2 wins).

Remember, if the game ends on an odd numbered turn, Player 2 wins; and if the game ends on an even numbered turn, Player 1 wins.

Thus:
P(A) = P(X=2) + P(X=4) + P(X=6) + P(X=8)...
Thus, using the formula we derived, P(A) is:
P(A) = (5/6)(1/6) + (5/6)3(1/6) + (5/6)5(1/6) + (5/6)7(1/6)...
P(B) = P(X=1) + P(X=3) + P(X=5) + P(X=7)...
Thus, using the formula we derived, P(B) is:
P(B) = (1/6) + (5/6)2(1/6) + (5/6)4(1/6) + (5/6)6(1/6)...

Now, you can also see that P(A) = P(B)(5/6).
We also know that P(A) = 1 - P(B) (the probabilty of A happening = 1 - the probability of A not happening; and in this case, A not happening = B).

Thus, with a little manipulation, P(B) = 6/11 and P(A) = 5/11. So, you have a 1/11 greater chance of survival if you are the second player in a game of Russian Roulette. Just in case you ever find yourself in that position.

Protest (images)

2005-08-02T08:19:00.000-07:00

Here are those bumper-stickers I promised.

The NOT BUSH 04 sticker is available from cafepress.com/notbush2004, should you want a reminder of abject failure adhered to your car. The EXTREMISM sticker will be up soon.

Trinity

2005-08-01T22:34:00.000-07:00

Got into the VIP section of Trinity on Saturday.

Stiff drinks, hot women (yes, I'm talking about you, Lindy) loud music and bouncers with suits (nice suits). Can't go wrong with that combination.

What was even better? Hanging out in the DJ booth.

Discovered a new drink, too: the Makers Mark Manhattan. Yummers!

Do You Stink?

2005-08-01T20:53:00.000-07:00

How can people not smell themselves when they stink?

I'm not talking about the "I've Just Been Running and am Sweaty and Stinky" kind of stink. I'm talking about the kind of stench that is so strong, it feels like knives puncturing puncturing the inside of your nostrils...that once it's gone, you don't know where you've been because your mind has blocked out the memory for its own psycological protection. The kind so bad, it proves the absense of God.

I was on the bus tonight, and two homeless people got on and...well, I can't remember past that.

First: how can a homeless person pay for the bus? In Seattle, there is a rather heinous "pay as you leave" structure for buses coming out of the "Ride Free" zone. Get on with no money in your pocket, and just forget to pay on your way out.

Second: why does a homeless person need to ride the bus? It's not like they didn't have ALL DAY to walk wherever they were going.

Third: why should I have to put up with their coma-inducing odor?

It's pretty much common thought that you don't give homeless people money. Let's give them Axe Body Spray (btw: what an odd corporate website; it's almost totally antithetical to the public image they have created) instead.

Protest

2005-08-01T16:00:00.000-07:00

In light of the administration changing the name "The War On Terror" to "The Struggle Against Global Extremism", a new bumper-sticker is in the works.

Because our semi-famous (in Cheney, WA at least) "NOT BUSH 04" sticker is just looking sad on the back of the car, we've replaced it with "End Global Extremism. Impeach Bush."

Was nobody in the White House awake when they came up with that phrase, given Bush's own right-wing extremism?! Jesus, people. It's not rocket surgery.

Pics, and a link to buy, coming soon.

Panic

2005-08-01T15:50:00.000-07:00

Why isn't this news?

Probably because there isn't any direct evidence to support such a frightening claim, but still. I must say, given articles like this one and the overall significance of August 6th (60th anniversary of the bombing of Hiroshima - the *only* use of nuclear force by one country upon another...except for August 9th, of course), the idea is kind of freaking me out.

This is not helped by the fact that I have a generally paranoid personality (my actual first thought when the power went out at work was "fuck", followed by surprise that there wasn't any rumbling, flashes or instant nothing-ness...or maybe there was, and hell is me being at work ;-) ).

Power(less)Macs

2005-08-01T15:45:00.000-07:00

The power went out at work today.

My first thought: well, at least I can surf the internet while we're closed. Not realizing until I get the "cannot connect to network" error that our wirless router was, of course, off.

*smack*

On the bright side, our boss purchased pizza (from the glorious Pudge Brothers) for everyone. Yum.

Taco Bell

2005-08-01T15:42:00.000-07:00

I'm in Taco Bell the other day (I probably shouldn't have been, but what can I say - my Grilled Stuff't Burrito addiction's a bitch). I'm filling up my soda and from my vantage point, I can see the employee/employer white board. On it, there is a note saying: "Remember! SPEED IS THE MOST IMPORTANT! We are at 97%!!" Not quality or taste or even safety, but the speed at which people get their food.

The real question is: did I expect something different?

Lube. Wet or Dry?

2005-07-15T16:37:00.000-07:00

When purchasing miniDV tapes, there are two types: those that use "wet" lubricant, and those that use "dry." There has been a lot written (specifically on sites like the magnificent-beyond-words dvxuser.com) about not ever mixing the two together -- if you use wet lube tapes in your camera (these come mostly in the form of the consumer grade tapes, ie. Sony's DVC), then don't make the switch to dry lube (professional tapes, ie. Panasonic's DVM63MQ or PQ). Otherwise the lubes will mix on your tape heads and create a gluey mess, the likes of which will probably require a professional head cleaning.

Well, today I am making the switch. Because of geographical issues (read: no professional video stores where I used to live), I was forced to use wet tapes in my DVX100. Today, thanks to the great folks at National Video Tape Co., I am well stocked with the MQ tapes.

After reading all the forums about switching, I was scared to death. But, at the same time, now that I have ready access to the right tapes, I want to use them -- reason being, the Panasonic MQ tapes are actually manufactured to the DVCAM specs, which gives you a higher quality recording and a much stronger, more reliable tape (stay away from the 90 minute versions, though - they simply stretch the 60-minute tapes to make the 90-minute reel).

So, I called a professional Panasonic technician. He, shall I say "very persuasively" told me to make the switch immediately, and that all I'd have to do is run a cleaning cassette through the DVX at some point during the transition. He actually, again "very persuasively", urged me against coming in to get a professional clean until I had a few hundred hours of recording on the camera.

So, here goes. Is the whole dry lube/wet lube issue simply a case of eHysteria or Forum Fodder? Let's hope. I'll keep you posted.

EDIT:

So far so good. Ran the cleaning cassette, did a test recording, tested playback a few times, and everything seems to be groovy. *fingers crossed*.

EDIT:

Shot a few hours today - all footage plays back fine. *whew*

What a Difference an Inch Makes

2005-07-14T00:02:00.000-07:00

There's finally a new set for The Daily Show. Stewart's table is far too tall. It may only be a few inches difference from the old one, but this new table makes him look so feeble and, well, stumpy.

Smoke and Gas

2005-07-12T22:24:00.000-07:00

Here in Seattle we have two new Initiatives on this November's ballot: 901 and 912. The former will ban smoking in all public establishments as well as within 25 feet of openings such as doors, windows and air intakes; the latter will revoke the $0.095/gallon gas tax.

As for 901, I desperately want this to pass. I am sick and fucking tired of drowning in cigarette smoke, and choking on the scent of my own clothes after a good night's worth of drinking, pinball - and perhaps worst of all - music (I first had to wait until I was 21 to enjoy any quality live shows, and ever since I've made it, I've hesitated to go because of the god damn smokers).

But, really: whose bright idea was it to include the 25-Foot addendum to what is an otherwise sensible initiative. If you want change, you have to start slowly. Want to get rid of smoking altogether? Start by taxing cigarettes. Then ban smoking in private places. THEN ban it in the surrounding areas of said public places. Tax it some more. And, naturally, you'll get rid of it. Granted, that takes years - call it Forced Evolution - but it works. Pack too much into one step, and you'll derail the entire process. It's basically common knowledge that you don't quit smoking cold turkey...why would you enforce it that way?

As for 912: what the fuck is wrong with people? Yeah, fine. I admit it. When I heard "9 and a half cent per gallon gas tax" my wallet shat itself. But, after a few moments with a slide-rule, abacus and grease pencil, it turned out all right. On average (this is including the occasional cross-state excursion, aimless wandering and midnight Dilettante/B&O Espresso runs), we're using about 30 gallons/month.

Oh. My. God. $2.85/month. Whatever shall I do?

But that's not even the bulk of my complaint (that people are either mathematically illiterate or stingy - I can't decide which is more inherently true...or worse). My biggest gripe with this initiative - and the people who back it - is the general lack of communal thought. Everyone who lives in Seattle wants the city to prosper. We want to have great parks, great streets, less bums, more public art, less bums, fun events (sans bums), a booming economy (which would get rid of some bums), etc., etc. But what people seem to forget is that you must pay for such things. If you want Seattle to be great, flip it some cash.

Yes, we are one of the highest (perhaps highest?) taxed states/regions in the country -- and it does become very difficult to argue with those who raise tangibility of results as an issue ("where did my tax money go, exactly?") -- but I'm not ready to give up on our local politicians. Call me naive, but I honestly think that the best interests of the region are at the forefront of our elected officials' minds. Does that mean they have my best interests in mind? No. That would be stupid.

And that's what more people need to understand.

Vote not for what benefits you directly (need I remind anyone of the Eyman-sponsored tab fiasco?), but will benefit your community...which will, in turn, benefit you. Remove yourself by one step. First, evaluate a thing's promise for a better Seattle (yes, your ideas of where our city needs to go may differ from mine...sometimes quite extremely, but that's part of the point), then evaluate what it's going to cost (be it monetarily, environmentally, politically, whatever) and then make sure the former outweighs the latter. In the current situation, I find the very tangible positives of better roadways and public transportation far outweigh $2.85 a month.

And, as an added bonus, think of the far-reaching effects of such a tax. The more gas costs, the less people will want to buy it. As that starts to happen, auto manufacturers will be forced to make less expensive fuel-efficient vehicles. People will stop buying the patently useless "SUV" and start realizing that they don't, in fact, need 74-seat vehicles. As more people buy smaller cars, our dependence on foreign oil (yes, I played that card) gets reduced. The environment is cleaner.
And all for the low, low price of $2.85 a month.

Give up smoking, maybe. That will more than pay for it.

There are 475,000 (roughly) people of legal driving age in the city of Seattle. Let's falsely (for the sake of a conservative estimate) assume that everyone in the city drives as little as I do, and is only filling up about 30 gallons a month. That's $2.85/month/person. That's over $1.3M in monthly tax revenue. MONTHLY. Over the course of a year, we're looking at ~$16M (numbers all rounded down for, again, a conservative estimate).

To sum up: negligible personal input creates enormous communal output.

To sum up even more: vote YES on I-901 and a big, fat NO on I-912 (remember, 912 is written in the negative - to repeal the tax...the tax which is good...the tax which is relatively cheap...you get the point).